The Life of Brian

You ever have one of those days where you are so incredibly tired that you find yourself nodding off at work? I do. In fact, it used to happen quite frequently and still does every now and then.

I’ll be plugging away at the computer and then the next thing you know, I’m out like a light. My staff knows it happens, my boss knows it happens… most of the time they just pull my office door close and let me catch a few winks.

There’s just one teeny-weeny problem: I snore. LOUDLY. I’m fairly sure it’s an inherited trait. Both my parents snore a good bit, and my maternal grandmother, who weighs all of 105 pounds soaking wet, is the champ. She can rattle the walls, though I’m old I come pretty close. I’m told I sound somewhat like a congested Texas steer when I nod off. Even closing my office door when I nod off at work doesn’t always stifle the noise of me cutting logs.

There are certain little elfs around my office who like to sneak pictures of me in repose, print them out and post them around the office. There are at least two posted on the wall behind my staffers’ desks. But I guess them’s the breaks when you nod off at work.

Luckily, this has not been a regular occurrence with my recent exercise program. I’ve found myself having more energy throughout the day and sleeping better at night, so that is likely making a difference.

Still, given the fact that I’ve been busy both in and out of the office, there’s a chance where a nap at my desk may happen. I only hope more pictures don’t turn up on the walls around the building…

OK, it’s been almost eight months since I last updated this blog, and I haven’t done so for various and sundry reasons. But since I am making major lifestyle changes, I figured, what the heck, it’s time to start posting again…

After months of talking about it, getting pumped up and a several false starts, I have at long last joined a fitness club and begun an exercise program. This is something I have needed to do for years now; the last time I was on a regular fitness program, I actually kept some weight off.

The last couple of years, though, I let myself go. When I stepped on the scales at my parents’ house at Christmas and topped the scales at more than 270 pounds, I knew it was time to lose some weight. Of course, work issues got in the way — namely being seriously short-staffed for about three and a half months — and I didn’t get started on the workout program.

So I made changes in other ways. I have completely cut out all sugared soft drinks — namely regular Coke, Dr. Pepper and Sprite — and began to exercise more willpower over what I eat and when I eat. In other words, no more late night runs to McDonald’s for a burger and fries when I am working late. I’ve also tried to cut back on sweets intake, though i might partake of a peppermint or two and the occasional bit of chocolate.

I actually have had some success with this… when I stepped on the scales at the gym the other day, I weighed in at around 255. It made me feel better about what I was doing.

But all the dieting in the world doesn’t mean diddly-squat without regular exercise. It’s not that I abhor working out; most of the times it’s quite enjoyable. My problem is accountability. If I have someone who will call me up and say, “Brian, get your butt to the gym,” I’ll go. I’ll work out and enjoy it.

Enter Shawn and Mooch. These two police officers have started on a regular workout program together. The plan is to do a midday workout five days a week, with the option of doing more on weekends. Combining weight training and cardiovascular/aerobic exercise, my workouts for the first few months will be focusing on burning fat and toning the muscles I do have. Building more muscle will come once I have dropped a good bit of weight.

One day we’re working tricep, back and shoulder muscles; other days we’re working chest and abdominals and biceps and legs. We’ll do 20 to 25 minutes of weight exercises, followed by 20 to 25 minutes of cardio training. Shawn and Mooch — who are both in fairly good shape, especially Mooch — put me through a good workout on Friday, but I did discover that the Stairmaster is not my friend. The plan was do 10 minutes on the machine, followed by 10 minutes or so on the treadmill.

I lasted all of 2 minutes on the Stairmaster before my legs and butt were hurting so bad I couldn’t move. So i did 20 minutes of power walking with some jogging on the treadmill, which felt great. I mean, hey, I am only just beginning the workout program… why kill myself the first day? Luckily, Shawn and Mooch agreed, but I had to agree to work my way up to doing the Stairmaster. That’s a good goal to have. I need to build up my physical endurance.

Now Shawn and Mooch had warned me I’d be sore within a day after the workout, but, honestly, it was not as bad as I had anticipated. So I went back to the gym for a good cardio workout on the stationary bike and treadmill, which helped loosen me up a bit. I can honestly say that I have had more energy the past two days and have slept better at night as a result of the exercise. My two friends have pledged to keep me accountable, and I know they will.

So hopefully by Christmas, I’ll be 25 to 30 pounds lighter and in much better shape. So I guess I’d better make friends with the Stairmaster…