The Life of Brian

Many of my friends know that I have started this new fitness regimen with a couple of police officer buddies of mine. I’ve been at it just over a month and a half, and I’m starting to see some results. I’ve lost a little weight and I’m starting to see some muscle definition where I had none before, particularly in my arms.

I’ve also gotten where I can ride over 5 miles in 20 minutes on the stationary bike (with some resistance programmed) and power walk about a mile and a half in 20 minutes on the treadmill. I even am able to do the elliptical slider — which is sort of a cross country a ski machine — for at least 10 minutes without getting too tired.

The Stairmaster, however, still ain’t my thing. The last time I did it, I managed somehow to get in 10 minutes on the darn thing.

But that was before Tom entered the picture. Shawn, one of the two friends with whom I work out, had been talking about wanting to kick up our exercise routines a notch, particularly with the weight training. Though Mooch, our other friend, was not at workout today, Shawn and I hit the weights with Tom, who has more muscles than any white boy should have a right to have.

Since Tuesday is our bicep day, Tom put us through the paces with a series of dumbell exercises and over handed and under-handed curls with barbells. It was quick-paced and intense, and I’m feeling quite a bit of stiffness in my arms and chest as a result, especially since Shawn put me through quite a chest workout on Monday.

Keeping in mind the importance of drinking plenty of water while exercising, we regularly hit the water fountain at the gym to keep from dehydrating. We finished up the weight training and then headed over to the cardio room to hit the Stairmaster. During our workouts each week, we try to rotate the cardio portion among the treadmill, stationary bike, elliptical slider and Stairmaster. As I said before, the first three are not too taxing on me… the Stairmaster again whipped my butt.

All of us got on the darn thing, and I was okay for the first four or five minutes. Then, the interval training program kicked in, and, before long, I was sweating like a melting popsicle, my legs were Jell-O and I was getting light-headed. Did I mention that I was also breathing quite heavily?

I managed to get through 10 minutes only through sheer determination… and the fact that Shawn was pushing me onward. But I don’t care what anyone says… the Stairmaster is not — and probably will never be — my friend. In fact, I wouldn’t have minded taking a sledgehammer to the darn thing, but I probably would have ended up whacking myself on the head.

Maybe as I continue the workouts I’ll be able to conquer it. But I’m not betting on it happening any time in the near future.